How Google My Business Serves the Underworld

Why is Google My Business like the book smart kid who is mildly dysfunctional in real life?


Google’s local listing platform (I say that descriptive term because I never really know what it’s called these days. PDiddy Puff Daddy +Local – who can keep up?!) is a nightmare to manage all 147 local StorageMart addresses.

You would think that once you verify your listing or your bulk upload gets approved, that Google would mark that down in some Book of Life and all previously listed businesses at that address would be cast away in a deep dark sea of forgetfulness, or at least thrown overboard to Bing.

Claiming a business name if it never existed, and if no other business ever resided at that address, might be simple. But in real life, businesses move, are bought and sold, change names. And then… supernatural things happen.

My marketing team and I like to categorize this phenomenon as:

The Series of The Undead

The Zombie
A previously listed business reappears at your address. You can “suggest and edit” but beware of marking the business as “closed”! Google is likely to also close your managed listing. wrote a more detailed article explaining what may cause the undead to rise and how to make them dead-dead, or mostly dead.

The Unanimated
There are 10 verification postcards for one single listing roaming around the Canadian postal service – or, conceivably, anywhere by now. When your listing is neither dead or alive, but is in a purgatorial “pending” status, it is unanimated.

North of the Wall
Canada, O Canada. Some of your addresses do not exist, according to Google. Google denies the existence of rural postal addresses as much as King’s Landing denies that winter is coming.


The Untranscended
Like a spirit stuck on the wrong side of the afterlife, if you merge or attempt to transfer your listing to another account, some might be left behind. This was the case for one poor soul when we grew and began using the bulk upload service. We won’t forget you #0106!

The Bodysnatcher
Paid listings for sites such as (not mentioning any names!) place their tracking number over your local listing. Yay – you get a prominent spot and they can track the data, but the tradeoff is that their affiliates might also morph your local listing into their paid ad wheel.

The battle is never ending.

If you’ve waged a war with Google My Business local listings and vanquished the undead, I’d love to hear how you did it!

UPDATE:  While posting this blog, I missed a phone call from Google explaining how they will cure my Untranscended listing! (Now that is creepy timing!)



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